Life with a newborn...again!

I know I have been MIA but I have been living in newborn bliss/fog for the last 4 weeks.  My baby boy will be 5 weeks old tomorrow and I cannot believe how fast that time has flown by.

I am loving having a newborn in the house again and my two girls (H-4, B-nearly 3) are smitten with their baby brother too.  In the case of B she is a little too in love with Q, literally smothering him with aggressive kisses & cuddles whenever she gets near him.  Hubby & I are doing everything we can to run interference for our poor son while encouraging B to be gentle without growling at her for being so 'loving' towards him but it is hard!  After just turning my back for a second to get a drink, we caught her holding Q up by his wobbly neck, trying to get him to dance with her the other day!!!  But in the scheme of things, its definitely preferrable that they love him rather than the alternative...surely!

Fatty bum bum!

So honestly - how is it all going?  The first couple of weeks were great, flying high on hormones and love for my newborn, physically down but not out and overwhelmingly so friggin pleased not to have to go to the toilet every 5 mins & to not be fat & uncomfortable anymore, I was in Happyland.  Week 3 hit and my hubby got a few rev ups.  Getting up for night feeds was getting harder and I began to feel tired, esp as Q was feeding soooo much.  He is an easy baby though, no problems with night v day, feeding and then going straight back to sleep at night time.  They only problem is, like all males he seems to be obsessed with boobs and food, wanting as much as he can get. He is a wee (big) budda!

Looks more like 3mths than 3 weeks!

He was out of newborn nappies at 1.5 weeks, out of his bassinet at 4 weeks and is now comfortably fitting size 3-6mth clothes!   One silver lining to this is that I have lost 16kgs of the 20kgs I put on - don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining but that is sooo not normal!

In fact the only thing that is a little bit challenging at the moment is trying to get his wind up.  He makes a LOT of grunting noises while feeding, after feeding and even in his sleep!  I did some Google research to find out what this could mean and was shocked (& slightly amused) to find out about GBS-grunting baby syndrome!  I think with Q it is more about trapped wind than his bowel movements, believe me - they are fine!  It means he is noisy and it often sounds like he is in pain but he doesn't cry and can sleep even while continuing to grunt loudly so I am not too concerned and assume it is something he will grow out of eventually, but in the meantime I am spending a considerable amount of time trying to wind him, limiting any trapped wind and therefore discomfort for him.

I have completed a newborn milestones table, similar to my blog about my pregnancy milestones.
It is great to see the comparisons between my 3 kids...

And the pattern that has emerged within the very first row, clearly shows one of the main reasons why I will not be having anymore kids!  :)

AT LAST...Birth story for Baby Bell #3!

Nau mai, tauti mai ki te ao mārama taku tama, te pōtiki o te whānau - Quinn Heta Robert Bell!

I left you last time with the possibility of an induction on the cards.  Needless to say, my midwife came to check me just over 41 weeks and found me to be 4cm dilated and 80% effaced.  She said that in terms of an induction, all they would do is break my waters and then let things progress naturally from there as I was already showing such good signs of labour and wouldn't need much to get me going.  I would still have to go to Chch Womens but would be able to avoid all the drugs and other interventions to induce labour which made me feel much happier about the process.  So my midwife, hubby and I decided that Sat 6th July was the day and we were to meet at Christchurch Womens Hospital at 9am that morning.  I went to bed early on Friday night having made my peace with the fact that tomorrow would be our baby's birthday!

Murphys Law - the first contraction hit that night, at 2.15am.  It felt like a good, strong Braxton Hicks and I went straight back to sleep.  Then another one hit at 2.25am, and again at 2.35am so by the time the next one hit at 2.45am I knew it was finally the real deal and I was having contractions, 10 mins apart.  They were noticeable and uncomfortable but nothing too painful yet.  I let J my hubby sleep, waking him around 3.30am to ring his Mum and get her to come down so we could head to Lincoln Hospital when we needed to.  Yay-back to my original birth plan!  I will give you a blow by blow timeline account of what happened from that point on...

4.30am - Text my midwife to say I was having contractions 10 mins apart but they were not too bad yet, I would keep resting and let her know when they cranked up a notch

5.30am - Spoke to midwife and arranged to meet her at Lincoln

6.30am - Settled in at hospital, we were the only people there and had the place to ourselves, it was lovely

7-8am - Contractions 5mins apart, used the gas for pain relief and LOVED it, was laughing, making jokes & thoroughly enjoying myself!

8.15am - got in the birthing bath, contractions 2-3 mins apart still using gas but starting to feel the bearing down urge through the gas, beginning to hurt more

8.30am - Things get ugly!  They took my new besty, the gas, off me so I could start pushing. I was not happy with this and things were at the screaming and OMG this hurts like hell stage.  A back up midwife arrived and so the 3 of them started to encourage me to get this baby out! Which at that point, I was all for, so I started pushing and it was really hard as the baby was still in its membranes, like all 3 of my kids, my waters never broke and the pressure when this happens is INTENSE, however apparently its better for the baby...not so much the Mum trying to push the baby out still in its waters!  I watched the head come out around 8.40am, still in the bag of waters and with the next couple of pushes the shoulders and body followed, I was never more relieved to have something over and done with!

8.50am - Quinn Heta Robert Bell was born, weighing 9pd 7oz, a big, beautiful boy!  Heta is my fathers middle name and a family name from his mothers side and Robert is my husbands middles name and his fathers name.

 

To be honest, once the baby came out and was pulled up into my chest, I was so exhausted I couldn't even check to see whether it was a boy or girl for a good 5 minutes.  I desperately wanted to and the other 3 were saying hurry up and have a look but I didn't even have the energy to lift my arm to turn the baby over!  I didn't have tea the night before or breakfast stupidly so I was really running on empty. There were two things I was thinking at that point - obviously, what sex is the baby and the next thought was, when I realised I needed to rest for a few minutes before I could even check, was how the hell do women do the painful pushing stage for hours?  In fact, how does any woman cope with being in labour for 12 or 24 or 36 hours!!!!!  And push for a long time or have to have forceps, stitches etc?  I have always respected and sympathised strongly with my mates who have had labours like this, but this was the first time I felt truly shattered after giving birth and it gave me a tiny insight into what it is like for them.   And I do mean tiny - yes, this time I lost some sleep as laboured during the night and he was big and it was longer than I expected but overall - it was a short period of time and I didn't need any interventions or stitches so still a pretty great outcome.

Once I rested for a couple of minutes I finally arrived at the moment we had been waiting 9 months for - is it a boy or a girl?  I didn't know it at the time but my hubby filmed this part for us (since he had time waiting for me to rest first) and I thought I'd share the most exciting part of the birth with you all:

Afterwards things went really smoothly and it was a lovely day.  My midwife went quietly about  in the background getting everything sorted, cleaned, checked, measured, recorded and organised while I had a shower, a HUGE breaky of toast and muesli and somewhat came back to life while J had some skin-skin time with our new son.  Once I was fed, clean and resting I breastfed Quinn and he took to it immediately, no problems there.

J and I were moved into our own room with Quinn at the hospital and our girls arrived to meet their new little brother.  They were not too fussed with him and after a quick look and a few questions they went off to find the toys! The soon left with their Grandma while we had a yummy lunch and rested some more.

 By 1.30pm we were wondering what to do next and actually decided to head home.  As lovely as it was at the hospital, I didn't need to be there and I had 2 main reasons for wanting to head home rather than stay overnight 1)What if another woman comes in and gives birth during the night and screams the house down...like I did! and 2) I really wanted to be home to watch the Wallabies v Lions 3rd test rugby game  : )

So overall, it was a really good birth, going exactly as I had hoped and planned...just a lot later than I thought.  Quinn is just scrummy and I can honestly say I am smitten with him and thoroughly enjoying having a newborn in the house again.  Knowing it will be our last baby, mentally you just chillax a lot more. I am just soaking it all up and enjoying it, the good and the tough!  3-6 months from now he will hopefully be sleeping through and feeding easily so it is such a short time of disrupted sleep etc.  They are soooo worth all the pain and lack of sleep.

Now I better go - my SON needs some more snuggles!

41 weeks pregnant and fed up!

I have an irrational fear of sharks.  Fearing a shark attack while swimming in the sea is not uncommon, but what I mean by irrational is that I often get freaked in situations that I know rationally would not be possible, for example, swimming in a deep pool and thinking there may be a shark in there about to attack me and the fact that I have never tried water skiing in a lake because I'm scared of sharks.  Irrational huh!

Anyway, coming up to a week overdue, I now find myself developing more irrational fears in the possibility of facing an unknown labour process - induction.   There are a lot of reasons I'm nervous about possibly being induced, like the fact the I have never gone overdue before so this is already unknown territory, that I have never been to hospital before, that I am slightly dramatic, that I have a new midwife this time, that I am slightly dramatic....

So to try to alleviate some of my irrational fears, I did what any rational person would do and googled.  What exactly are the risks of being overdue and of being induced?

Almost all websites I viewed agreed that the normal range for a pregnancy is anywhere from between 37-42 weeks, so up to 42 weeks is still considered 'normal'.  However, there are some real risks with going overdue and they are worth acknowledging:

• higher risk of uterine rupture
• bigger baby, more difficult labour and birth
• placenta and cord deterioration
• decrease in amniotic fluid
• meconium aspiration
•  and on a personal note I would like to add the risk to the mental well-being of the mother who is now very fed up and over it

Obviously the longer you have to wait while the baby remains 'inside the oven cooking', the higher chance there is of one or some of these issues affecting you and your bubba.  BUT, in the aim of trying to be rational here, rather than my usual irrational self, I thought I better look at the other side of the argument.

Risks associated with the actual procedure of induction

The induction process is a fairly invasive procedure which usually involves some or all of the following (you can read more about the process of induction here). There are a number of minor side effects associated with these medications/procedures (eg. nausea, discomfort etc.) There are also some major risks:

• prostaglandins to ripen the cervix: hyperstimulation resulting in fetal distress and c-section
• rupturing the membranes: fetal distress and c-section 
• IV syntocinon / pitocin: Mother – rupture of uterus; post partum haemorrhage; water intoxication leading to convulsions, coma and/or death. Baby – hypoxic brain damage; neonatal jaundice; neonatal retinal haemorrhage; death. There is also research suggesting that there may be a link between the use of syntocinon/pitocin for induction and ADHD (Kurth & Haussmann 2011)

The most extreme of these risks are rare but fetal distress and c-section are fairly common.

For me it comes down to the EDD (estimated due date) and your relationship with your midwive when deciding on when induction might be necessary.  In my case, I know my cycle really well and for this pregnancy I even know the conception date so I am very confident that the EDD of June 26th was accurate, which really does put me overdue.  I know that many other woman may think they are overdue but when the actually go for a late scan to check it turns out there dates are slightly off and they aren't really overdue at all.  It also raises the question of WHY this baby is overdue when my other 2 were early or on the due date.  Here comes that irrational fear again - is there something wrong with this baby?  I know I shouldn't think like this and that it's just a reality of some pregnancies, babies can come late, but it doesn't mean you won’t ask yourself these questions, especially with so much time on your hands waiting!

In terms of having a good relationship with your midwife, I think there are certain things you could both discuss and try before having to go down the induction path.  Like a stretch & sweep, (which I tried over a week ago but will ask to try again this week), and asking for a late scan to check on the health & size of the baby, the placenta and the amniotic fluid levels (for the Mums peace of mind and also to delay the need for an induction if everything looks ok).  

At the end of the day, the most important thing for us is to deliver a safe & healthy baby, whether I get to do that naturally at Lincoln Hospital or at home, having a water birth as planned or if I have to go to Chch Womans Hospital to be induced, will be decided sometime later this week.  I don't want to be induced but will happily do it if all the advice and evidence shows this will be best for baby.  In the meantime, I am asking you all to send me your 'go into labour now' vibes...perhaps that will be enough to get this party started!

Home remedies and tips for labour

There are a lot of excellent, informative pregnancy and birthing websites, books and experts out there.  I am one of those people who believe being well informed is being well prepared and right from my first pregnancy, I read, watched and discussed everything I possibly could about pregnancy and child birth.  I had several people tell me I was crazy and I shouldn't watch things like 'One Born Every Minute' or read things like 'Real life birth stories'.  They thought it would worry or scare me un-necessarily and perhaps give me a false impression of what preg and labour would really be like.  In my case though, I couldn't disagree more.  Yes, some people may find reading or watching other peoples stories scary or off putting but I loved it.  I read about some of the best and the worst experiences out there and so I went into the last few days leading up to both my births knowing full well that it could be a really fantastic experience or anything but, but at least I knew the wide range of possibilities and felt ready to accept what will be, will be!

The hardest thing for me to accept or cope with is the lack of control.  I like to plan and organise things, sometimes bordering a little on the too obsessive side of organisation!  The thing with childbirth is the total lack of control you have in regards to there is NOTHING you can do to control when you will go into labour, how long it will last, or how easy or difficult it will be.  I HATE this lack of control.  I was more scared about going overdue with my babies than I was about how painful or long the birth may be (my impatience rearing it's ugly head yet again).  I wanted, scrap that-desperately needed to know when it would happen!  Even this third time around, it is driving me crazy.  Small decisions become huge dilemmas, like on Tuesday night, I had barely any sleep, up all night with intense Braxton Hicks contractions, so I was extremely tired all day yesterday but I couldn't make a decision about whether to have a nap or not based on not knowing when I would go into labour.  My reasoning was if I nap this afternoon I might be up all night again tonight which will drive me nuts so I should just stick it out and go to bed early and get a better nights rest.  However, the flip side is, I could go into labour tonight say at 10pm, so I should nap this afternoon just in case as it might be all that gets me through childbirth should it kick off tonight!  In the end I went against all the advice of get rest anytime you can and stuck it out all day without a nap, opting rather to go to bed early which worked out fine.

So the lack of control, coupled with the uncomfortable factor naturally leads almost all mothers to turn to natural remedies, advice, tips and mythical stories of how to kick start labour.  Also having a list of pre-baby must dos for the last week fews of pregnancy at the very least will help distract you or give you a sense of some control.  Being only 1 week out from my due date, I have long since started to implement a few of my favourites:

• Raspberry leaf tea - I have taken this with all of my pregnancies, regular cups of this are believed to help prepare your body for labour by stimulating your uterus. (1x cup per day from 32 weeks preg & build up to a max of 4x cups daily).
• 1000mcg of Vitamin C daily - I have been very strict this time taking 1 tablet every day since 30 weeks to help reduce the possibility of afterpains.  The afterpains after my 2nd child was born were toe curling, horrible pains every time I feed for the first week or so and I was told they get worse with each birth.  I do not want to experience them again so am hitting the vitamin c hard!
• Daily brisk walks - walking helps heaps, keeps you busy, tires you out so you sleep better, builds your muscles/fitness etc ready for birth, helps get baby down into position and engaged and with both of my births, I went for a really good walk when contractions were just starting and it absolutely helped to make the contractions stronger and more regular, speeding up the first stage of labour for sure.
• Warm baths - this helps me for 2 main reasons, firstly its one of the only things I can do to stop the Braxton Hicks and therefore be able to tell if they are real of false contractions. Secondly, it relaxes me and the amazing sensation of weightlessness is worth the total blow out of hot water I waste daily!
• Nookie -  I won't go into detail here as far to many of my friends, family and colleagues read this blog, however I will say the benefits and reasons for this helping to kick start labour seem pretty obvious to me and I can think of worse things to try!

.... on that note, one thing I haven't tried before but am going to next week is to have a stretch and sweep.  It was meant to happen today actually at my 39 week midwives appointment however we have a pretty nasty snow prediction forecasted for the next few days, so we didn't want to risk it working and putting me into labour sometime in the next 24-48 hours when I could potentially be snowed in.  And finally one thing I absolutely wouldn't try is castor oil to induce labour.  It sounds disgusting and potentially risky, so not worth it in my mind!

So ladies - any other safe home remedies you swear by or think are worth trying?  Love to hear your advice, old wives tales or experiences that helped you prepare during the last few days of pregnancy!

Birth story for Baby Bell #2 - our cheeky, adorable daughter B

By the summer of 09/10 hubby J and I were thoroughly enjoying parenthood and totally smitten with our firstborn H.  She was a delight and our little family was humming along nicely.  I had received a years study leave for 2010 and we were building a new house so we started the year with lots of changes on the cards but excitement too.  I was also trying to get back in shape and was training for the Buller Marathon teams event we had entered in February, over on the coast in Westport, so I was running regularly too.

J and I even managed to escape to Wellington with friends for a weekend to attend the AC/DC concert and we had a great time...too much of a great time it seems as a few weeks later I realised I was late.  I thought surely just one time wouldn't result in a pregnancy, especially not this soon after H, so I took a test and it said negative.  Life carried on and I put the lateness of my period down to running lots and having a young baby.  However it gave me enough of a scare that I decided to book in a visit to my Doctors so I could go back on the pill.  A couple of weeks later when I finally got around to visiting the doctors you can imagine my shock when before she prescribed me the pill she got me to do another preg test and sure enough, a very strong 2nd line showed up almost instantly, and thats how our little B began, not planned but a blessing all the same!

B was due on the 26th Oct 2010 (H was due & born on the 26th May 2009).  Monday 25th Oct was actually Labour Day and we had been joking about going into labour on Labour Day.  Sure enough, I woke up that morning after a pretty rubbish sleep thinking this could be the day.  Braxton Hicks had been driving me crazy for the last couple of weeks and I had had a bad night with them on and off right through.

At 11.30am we decided to go for a family walk and see if I could either get the Braxton Hicks to stop/settle down or force them to crank up a notch and get labour going.  We walked 5km with pains coming sporadically the whole time.  We got home around 12.30pm and had some lunch, J said he might shoot through to Mitre 10 in town and I said maybe give it another 30mins, just in case this was the real deal. By 1, 1.30pm the contractions had def cranked up a notch in terms of pain and regularity and I was finally sure I was in labour so we called the midwife.


Even though H's birth was an unplanned home birth, it went so well and was such a good experience that we had always planned to have the 2nd baby at home too.  This time though I wanted to try a water birth, so I borrowed our midwives portable birthing pool and we set it up in our dining room.  After J rang the midwife he went about filling the pool and I settled in on the swiss ball to work through the contraction pains.  I am one of those lucky woman that in between my contractions I am pain free and everything is totally normal, chatting and moving around no worries...until the next contraction hits!

My midwife and trainee midwife arrived around 2.30pm, at which point I was having strong but manageable contractions every 5 mins, but felt like this was just the start. She checked me and said to my shock that I was 8cm dilated - most likely a result of all the Braxtons I had been having for a few weeks already.  She calmly suggested it might be time to get in the pool but I still thought I had heaps of time.  I mucked around for a bit but eventually climbed into the blissful, warm, relaxing pool around 3pm - it was heavenly!  I would recommend a water birth for anyone considering it that has had a risk free pregnancy.

So finally at around 3pm I was in the pool, music was cranking on the ipod (The Cranberries I think) and things were at the noisy end of labour for me.  I am a yeller during contractions, not abusive or anything, just very loud groaning and moaning.  We had 3 contractions in the pool and our newest bundle of joy - Brooke was born, at 3.15pm, 25/10/10, 8pd 3oz!

Coming up for her very first breathe

It was a very fast, but peaceful, easy birth.  She floated up to me and squawked one or twice to clear her lungs and then lay peacefully and quietly on me from then on.  Having a trainee midwife there was great as she took lots of photos and we actually had a video camera set up in a corner too to record the whole thing.  H's birth happened so unexpectedly and differently to how we had planned that I found myself struggling to remember the night accurately.  This time I really wanted something to watch back and recall the whole event, there are no close ups or anything too full on, it was just recording quietly in the background and I am soooo thankful to have it as it is really special to me now.



H was bought back home after only an hour or 2 away at her grandparents to meet her new sister - we were now a family of four!

...Soon to become a tight-5!




Brookey is a stubborn, independent, loving and cheeky wee girl - a typical middle child who is more like myself that I like to admit.  She is very different to H, is so much fun and the 3 of us girls have a great time together, we can't wait to see what the next baby will bring!

Birth story for Baby Bell # 1 - our darling daughter H

Now I am waddling down the last few weeks of pregnancy,  your mind evidently turns to the ultimate outcome of pregnancy, which is to give birth.  As I didn't blog with my first two babies I figure it would be an ideal opportunity to add their own birth stories to this blog as hopefully all 3 of my kids will have this as a momento to read years from now.

So, back where it all began, our firstborn.  I fell pregnant with H in 2008 after a miscarriage earlier that year.  It was a really good pregnancy, all the usual pregnancy symptoms in the first trimester but I had never felt better ever than in my 2nd trimester.  We decided not to find out the sex of the baby at the 20 week scan but I was absolutely 100% certain it was a girl anyway.  Just after we left the scanning room I got called back in to quickly check something they missed during the ultrasound and so I went back alone.  The scanner accidently then told me the sex of the baby - it was a girl!  Just as I thought.  I told my hubby as I knew he would be dark at me if I knew and he didn't.  We decided not to tell anyone else we knew though as they all wanted it to be a surprise.

30 weeks pregnant with H

Once I went on leave by week 35 of the pregnancy I was ready and eager to get the baby out!  My sister-in-law had just had a baby and I asked her to tell me what labour was like and if she had any advice.  She said "When the contractions get really bad and they start hurting like crazy, suck it up, because that's just the beginning!"  I stupidly took this advice really to heart!

I was more worried about going overdue than the pain of actual labour - this is a throwback to how impatient of a person I am, so the day before my due date of 26th May I did almost all of the home remedies out there to kick start labour - a long walk, a hot bath, curry for dinner, half a glass of wine, I ate a whole tin of pineapple, and there may have even been some nookie involved!  At 3.15am I woke up and thought I needed to go to the toilet but once I sat down realised I didn't so went back to sleep.  At 4.15am I did the same thing and again at 5.15am and 6.15am.  So at 7.15am I told my husband I think I might be in labour, having mild contractions 1 hour apart.  The excited and supportive reaction to this news never arrived...he promptly cracked up laughing and then told me off saying "I knew you would be like this today, just because it is your due day does not mean you are going to have the baby today!" and off he went to work.  Don't get me wrong, even I agreed with him and I have been known to over-react or exaggerate at times so I figured he could be right.  However as the day progressed it became obvious that there was a definite pattern to these pains, mild as they were and they time in between was getting shorter so I was looking forward to my midwives visit at 4pm to see if she thought it was the real thing or not.

J (hubby) and I went off to the midwives after he got back form work and we were both excited to hear that I was 1-2cm dilated and that sure enough, this was the very early stages of labour.  Our midwife said it could be hours yet, most likely tomorrow before baby would be born so we decided to head to my parents for dinner.  By the time I was finishing my roast chicken I was having contractions 5-7 minutes apart and they were starting to cause a bit of pain so we thought we better head home!

We got home at 6.30pm and I jumped in the shower hoping that would help with the pain which was becoming pretty tough at this point.  I still had my sister-in-laws warning in my head and was thinking how am I going to last the whole night with this pain if this is just the beginning!  By 7.30pm my contractions were 5 minutes apart and I was hurting-I told J to ring the midwife as surely I must be 4-5cm dilated by now and we should go to a hospital soon.  He rang her and said you might want to come down soonish as things have picked up slightly...we didn't want to rush her or over-react, typical first time parents!

I had planned on going to St Georges hospital to give birth and was wanting to try a drug free birth if possible but was totally open to the possibility of pain relief should I need it.  By 8.30pm I was lying on my bed crying through the contractions thinking if this is just the beginning I am absolutely going to take EVERY single pain relief option available and was desperate for the midwife to arrive.  When she arrived I remember saying to her "If I am not yet 5cm dilated and ready to go to the hospital I need drugs fast because I can't do this!"  She checked me and said I was fully dilated and the head was crowning - we are having this baby right here at home!

I wont go into all the gory details but the short story is we got me down into the lounge, next to the fire and cranked up the heat.  I did panic a bit as this was not what we planned and I tried to say no I want to go to hospital but once another contraction hit it was all over.  I didn't want to have the baby in the car and all I wanted was to get it out as fast as possible so we settled in the lounge. J got some towels down on the carpet (I had to send him back to get the old beach towels after he bought in our never been used, white, wedding gift towels!) and my midwife got me to start pushing.  I was screaming through the pain of contractions and she helped me to stop yelling and focus all that energy into bearing down and pushing.  At 9.15pm Harper was born, a perfect little girl, 6 pound 10 ounces and our lives changed forever.

J and H - 1st Daddy daughter cuddle

Our first cuddle in bed at home an hour after Harper was born

Even though it was not what we had planned or expected, it was a pretty amazing birth.  Faster than I expected to go from 1-2cm at 4pm to fully dilated by 8.30-9pm.  Yes, the last 2-3 hours were extremely painful and scary but it all happened pretty fast and once she was out all the pain disappeared and it was a beautiful time.  It was drug free although I DEF would have taken something towards the end if I could have!  I didn't need any stitches or medical attention afterwards so preferred to stay at home rather than have to go into a hospital.   I was able to have a shower and jump into bed with J and H and start learning how to feed her straight away.  We had turns holding her all night and napping so both J and I got to bond with H and still get a good nights sleep.  I loved being at home for that first night together and sharing it with my hubby, I find it crazy that some of my friends who have just given birth in hospitals during the night have had to say goodbye to their husbands as they can't stay the night.  It must be awful for both Mum & Dad!  Overall, I was very thankful for how well the birth went and we were super excited to finally be parents.  If I could go back, I actually wouldn't change a thing - H turned 4 last weekend and is the most amazing little girl who brings us huge amounts of joy, we love her madly!

Final preparations

When I was pregnant with my first daughter H, I had a friend that was due a couple of weeks after my due date of 26th May.  On ANZAC Day (April 25) she text to announce the birth of her darling son Bob. I initially thought the text was a joke because it was so unexpected and early!  What it did do was send me into a tail spin about the reality of the fact your baby could come at any time. I was only 35 weeks at that time but my nursery had been set up for weeks, my bag for the hospital was packed and in the boot, the baby capsule was all strapped in and the birth plan was written out and distributed to hubby and midwife. (Fat lot of good that did...but that's next weeks post!). So even though she gave me a fright with her son arriving early, I was already well and truly ready and prepared for my big day by then anyway.

Third time around has been a different story, I have actually been putting things off!  I don't know why, laziness/tiredness/busy-ness or perhaps it's just me avoiding the fact that things are about to change in a big way, yet again for our whānau.  But over the weekend I decided to attempt to get some of the final preparations underway.

I have now set up the nursery room as best as possible.  My cot and change table are being returned to me soon, but I have a bassinet all all made up with clean linen, all the wraps, blankets and feeding cloths have been washed and put away and I have even taken out all the neutral baby clothes I own, washed them and put them in the drawers ready for bubs.  I was given a couple of big bags of boys clothes from a friend who returned to Canada and couldn't take them with her so they are in the closet and can be pulled out if it's a boy, just as all my left over pink girls clothes are cleaned and in a container ready to go in the drawers if it's another girl.  I even have boxes of nappies and wipes ready for action.  What more do I need really?  Boobs, nappies and a bassinet seem to be the only essentials I can think of?

H on the left and B on the right, kissing the baby before bathtime

One key part of my life I am trying to prepare this time around that I haven't had to consider before is my 2 darling daughters.  H turned 4 in the weekend and B is 2 1/2.  They are both super excited about the baby and talk about how it is coming in June and whether they think it will be a boy or a girl-it changes daily!  They kiss my tummy and talk to the baby all the time, B even tried to tip some juice down my belly button the other day so the baby could have a drink.  They both seem to be pretty positive about it all and thankfully due to a couple of aunties who have had babies recently, are quite savvy about newborns and how to treat a baby.  All I am doing is talking lots to them about the baby and what to expect but I'm not sure how they will react once it arrives.  I'm quietly confident that H will be besotted with the baby and a huge help to her Māmā.  I am also just as confident that her little sister B will be the complete opposite. She is a classic 2nd child, just like her Mum BUT I refuse to write her off yet and she could surprise us all.  In saying that, I will not be leaving her alone in the room with the baby for any amount of time!

The truth is, I don't know what the best way is to prepare young children for a new sibling and I don't know if you can adequately prepare ANYONE, (myself included) let alone toddlers, but any advice from those with a few kids to your name would be welcome!

On the home straight and things are looking up!

Last time I blogged I was in a bad space.  Looking back and reading my post I realise how easily things can get on top of you when your hormones are all over the place, your feeling physically low and tired, not to mention you are so much busier the 3rd time around with 2 other children to care for too.  I think back to when I was pregnant with my first baby and how I would have naps if I was tired, I needed help with bringing in groceries and cleaning the house (basically I passed those chores on) and I finished work 6 weeks before my due date!   Ah the blissful ignorance - live it up first time Mums!

Thankfully I have turned a corner which is an unexpected gift.  The last 5 weeks of my first 2 pregnancies were by far the toughest, with back pain, difficulties sleeping and general all round 'uncomfortableness' & frustration at wanting the baby out!  Two things have impacted on a major attitude shift for me for the better over the last week.  Firstly, I finished 2 weeks on the road travelling for work and it was the last work trip I will take before I go on leave next month.  I was happy to do these trips and with a healthy and risk free pregnancy so far I knew that there was no reason I should worry but the thought of premature labour was always at the back of my mind.  In fact, just as much of a worry as that, was going into labour early and not being able to complete the trip at all, what can I say - I love my job.  So getting all my travel out of the way and feeling like I accomplished most of the vital work tasks I wanted done before I go on leave, was a real relief.  Mentally, a huge load of my shoulders!

Secondly, I got myself medicated!  Nothing extreme, but it has been life changing. I got a prescription for Ranitidine (also known as Zantac) which helps stop severe heartburn.    This has been the best find ever for me as the heartburn I was suffering was awful.  It made me feel like vomiting all the time, it was painful and I struggled to eat and sleep because of it.  The ranitidine has all but stopped it completely and I feel like a new person.

So, instead of dreading the last 5 weeks of pregnancy, I am optimistic and actually feeling really good about it.  I going to try to blog once a week from now on in the lead up to the big day....hmmm, how many blog posts will I get it I wonder?  Due date is 26th June!

Smile on my dial, bring it on!

Warning: Dragon Bell unleashed early!

I know this is going to sound sexist, but I have often wondered why it should be up to BOTH a man and the woman to decide if they want to have more kids or not, I mean the reality is, the woman has to go through the pregnancy ups and downs, the pain of childbirth, the dramas with breastfeeding and the sleepless nights when getting up to feed.  Don't get me wrong, my husband is often referred to as 'Super-Dad' because he is so hands on and really is an amazing father and huge support to me, but the thing is there are certain things he just can't do, even if he wanted to.

So I mentioned this pondering of mine to him when we started talking about having a third child and said perhaps all I need to do is politely inform him of my decision once I've made it (tounge-in-cheek) since a lot of the the things that were potentially putting me off getting pregnant again wouldn't affect him.  His immediate response was "Yes, you do have to put up with a lot when you get pregnant BUT I have to put up with YOU!"

At the time I was suitably shocked by his response because my rose-tinted glasses were on and all I could remember was this chilled out, relaxed, blooming, mother-earth preggie Māmā from my last 2 experiences and couldn't understand what he was getting at.  Now, I do.

When I was teaching last in 2009, my 12 year old kids gave me the nickname 'Dragon Bell'.  I wasn't offended by this as I actually had a great relationship with my kids and only heard about the nickname when I finally told them the happy news that I was pregnant with my first child, to which they replied "Ohhhhhh, so that explains it, we've started calling you Dragon Bell lately because you have been so grouchy!"  This was one of many grouchy pregnancy stories that had conveniently slipped my mind before my conversation with my husband, however, I still couldn't believe that I was as bad as they remembered!  I did have some vague recollections of the odd restless night or complaining from me last time with my 2nd but only in the last couple of weeks before I was due.  Once again - this is what I seem to remember, not what my husband would attest to!

This time though I have hit a wall early.  Dragon Bell has been unleashed on my poor husband, children and anyone who comes within a 10m radius of me and I can't seem to shake my alter-ego.  I can hear myself complaining or snapping at others and know I am being unreasonable but my mind is made of mush and I just can't seem to pull myself out of these black moods.

I was in a really scary car accident almost 2 weeks ago and until then I was doing well.  I don't know if the accident has anything to do with it or not, or it's just the fact the I am bigger now but I am struggling to sleep which in turn causes havoc with my emotions and patience.  I am tired all the time and suffering from the worst heartburn ever which is hindering what and when I can eat.  And anyone who knows me well, knows that even at the best of times, if I am tired or hungry-beware!

I don't want to beat myself about it because this seems to be quite normal symptoms for many pregnant women but I hate feeling like this and I don't like that my husband and kids seem to be wearing the brunt of it, as they are in striking distance most often.   If I was due next week, I would happily say "Tough luck peeps, I'm being a bitch and I know it - just deal with it!"  The problem is I am only 30 weeks and still have a LONG 10 weeks ahead of me, which will feel probably even longer for those who have to put up with me too!

Did anyone else turn into a dragon while pregnant and if so, what did you do to try and control the monster within?

Weight a minute...that can't be right!

Getting on the scales and tracking my weight is nothing new for me during pregnancy... or at any other time!  It has long held a place in my life, right back into my teenage years and has provided many moments of success and achievement and many, many more of shock, shame and frustration.

This third pregnancy has gone a little differently weight wise as I have touched on briefly in some of my other posts.  I told myself that if I blogged publicly, I would tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so I am going to put my actual weights out there, into the big (hopefully not too cruel or judgemental) online world.

So here is how it all 'weighs' up in comparison with the first 2 pregnancies.  With my 1st preg, I fell pregnant weighing in at 79kgs, which is a good weight for me.  I had lost some weight before I got married and at my lowest was 77kgs, so at 79kgs I was happy.  On the day I gave birth to H, I weighed 99kgs, so an overall gain of 20kgs.  I was told that for a first pregnancy this was pretty standard and to be fair I was happy with this as I was dreading hitting the hundy mark!

As every mother knows, losing the baby weight is a whole different story and I had my struggles to get back down to size.  In fact, I followed many others in the pattern of retaining the last 5kgs of baby weight.  Meaning that I lost about 15kgs out of the 20 I gained, and settled mainly at the 84kg mark.

This was what I weighed when falling preg with B, baby num 2.  Yet again I had a slow but steady climb in my pregnancy weight gain, tracking almost identically to the first preg.  In fact, yet again, 2 days before I gave birth when I jumped on the dreaded scales I was sitting at 99kgs, again!  I crossed my fingers that I would pop in the next few days so as to avoid hitting the hundy the following week if I was still pregnant.  I had - and still have this mental goal (obsession) of not going over 99kgs. So even though I hit the same total of 99kgs with the 2nd preg, I only gained 15kgs in total, 5kgs less than preg 1, because I started 5kgs heavier.  Clear as mud?

Losing the baby weight second time around took much longer and was much harder.  In fact, it wasn't until early 2012, when B was nearly 2 years old,  that I really got stuck into it, after getting angry at myself for a very good Xmas of over-indulging!  I worked hard throughout the year and by August I had reached my goal weight of around 79-80kgs, FINALLY back down to my pre-1st baby weight!

As much as we were thrilled to find out I was pregnant around Oct, there was a small part of me that was gutted to be back on the 'weight gain train' - again!  What really shocked and confused me was the speed of the weight gain early in this pregnancy,  Unlike the previous 2, where my weight slowly and steadily crept up, with almost no gain in the first trimester, this time by the first midwives visit at 8-9 weeks, I had gone from 80-86kgs!!!!! This rapid growth was one of the reasons I was booked in for an early scan.  Turns out there was no obvious reason for this and baby seems to be of normal size and healthy.  My suspicions are that it might be because of my weight loss prior to falling pregnant.  My body had become accustomed to me dieting, exercising and losing weight, so when I fell pregnant, it went out of its way to do the opposite, doing it's best to keep it on!

The growing bump, 24wks

It has, thank god, slowed down.  Weight tracking so far has gone as follows:
Pre-preg - 80kgs
8/9 weeks - 86kgs
20 weeks - 90kgs
24 weeks - 91.7kgs
27 weeks - 93.7 kgs  :(

Anyone out there guess where this is heading?  The hundy mark is looming ever closer on the not so distant horizon, like a lurking black hole desperate to suck me in.  I once again, am obsessed with avoiding it at all costs but am not sure if it is possible, I was never great at maths but with still 13 weeks to go and with the weight gain so far - where does it leave me?

Obviously every pregnancy is different and so far this one has certainly lived up to that, but we all know most pregnancy weight gain happens in the last month or 2 and I cant see how I can avoid that reality. I know gaining weight is normal and expected during pregnancy and I am not looking for ways to stop weight gain or even lose some weight, I just want to know what I can do to slow it down and keep it to a healthy level.

Help - any advice?

Pregnancy milestones

When it comes to my job for many of my colleagues, the word 'milestone' strikes dread into the heart with the knowledge of late nights and LOTS of hard work ahead of you.  Pregnancy milestones however tend to be the talk of mothers for years to come, something we reflect back on... and in my opinion - if you are the slightest bit normal, find them harder and harder to recall as time goes by and one baby is perhaps followed by another!

This is one of the main reasons I decided to blog throughout this pregnancy.  I wanted to be able to look back and clearly remember the key milestones of what most likely will be my last pregnancy.  As a mother of 2 daughters already, I wanted to be able to share with them what it is like to carry a baby, and to share with others interested the good, the bad, the amazing and the damn right painful wonders of being pregnant and giving birth.

I am conscious of the fact that I didn't do this with my first 2 children though and so I have decided that perhaps a table, showing the milestones for all 3 of my pregnancies would be a good idea.  It will also demonstrate quite clearly just how much can slip from the memory once motherhood kicks into full swing!

The highs and lows of the ultrasound

Ah the exciting/dreaded baby scan. I have had my fair share of ultrasounds and I can say quite honestly that it can be the most moving and exciting experience...or anything but!

The mix of emotions I would bet most women feel, is something you can't control nor prepare for. The first time I got pregnant my husband and I went along for our first scan at 12 weeks, full of excitement and hope, keen to see our wee bean for the first time, only to find that it was not to be and although I had not suffered any symptoms, I had lost the baby and would then go on to have a D&C at the hospital. It was awful, enough said.

9 week scan - thankfully just the 1 little bean!

You can see though, how the knowledge of an upcoming visit for a baby scan could then go on to strike nervousness and apprehension into my heart, followed closely by positive thoughts as I refused to give into the fear. The risk of miscarriage is not the only thing that can cause those feelings though as I found out with this pregnancy! I was shocked to notice that by 6 or so weeks, I had developed what I considered to be a quite noticeable bump! I knew I wasn't imagining things as my clothes didn't fit and others were even 'kind' enough to comment on how early I was showing. I became quite paranoid about it and immediately raised it with my midwife during our first vist at 8 weeks. She also asked me to jump on the scales where I was appalled to find I had gained 5kg!!!! Yes - that's right, and yes I was only 8 weeks. She suggested an early scan as there was a chance I could be carrying twins, which is common through our family. I can assure you that had I been having twins I would have loved them with all my heart, but I am not ashamed to say that the feelings I had going into that first scan was similar to all the rest - but now doubled! I was nervous firstly about seeing if my baby was healthy and developing ok, then I was really nervous about there being more than 1 in there. The sigh of relief when she scanned my protruding belly to find just ONE healthy little bean was strong enough to knock over a full grown man!

13 week scan

19 week scan, side profile and feet

Thankfully, all 3 of my scans for this pregnancy, at 9, 13 and 19 weeks have gone smoothly and our baby seems to be developing beautifully. I even put aside all my fears and nerves for the last scan at 19 weeks because I figured it could quite possibly be my last baby scan ever and I just want to expect the best and enjoy it. Which I did and it was just as amazing this time as with every other scan I have had for my 3 healthy pregnancies. They only downside is that I wanted to know the sex and this was my only chance to find out but bubba wouldn't play the game. It was sitting with it's knees up to it's chest and it's hands resting squarely over it's goods, so nothing to see there! I have resigned myself to the fact the I will have to wait a few months to find out what flavour it is, but I am happy enough knowing that at least I have a healthy, albeit somewhat modest little baby, brewing nicely, ready to come and meet it's Mumma sometime this June!